One of my parting gifts into adulthood was a box of pictures from my childhood. It was then that I understood that pictures of a child in their childhood aren’t for the parents to remember, but for the child.
Noticeable though, is the gap of pictures between my birth and preschool years. Of course, it was the 80’s, so there weren’t nearly as many family pictures back then as there are now. But still, there is a gap.
My mom told me I always hid from the camera and would cry if my picture was taken. She told me of the ruined professional photos because I wouldn’t stop crying. Thus, there were fewer pictures of me in the early years.
But, the pictures that were taken of me, were mostly of me eating. Being distracted by eating is a pretty good time to sneak a picture.
My relationship with food has always been deep. I adore food. My relatives are always sure to tell me how much of “an eater” I was when I was a toddler. I was famous for eating almost anything, hiding my food in my cheeks or in my clothes, for future snacks.
Food has always been important to me and unlike many other autistic people, I enjoy a wide variety with few dislikes. I’ve never been one for milk (the fact that it’s technically mucous just throws me off). Peas and jello are a no-go, due to the texture. But I seek strong foods. Vinegar, hot sauce, extremely sour candy, very carbonated soda (only the soda machine at the 7-11 on G street will do), and bitter coffee.
I do have an odd relationship with foods in other ways though. I experience a very dramatic craving for a certain food, an obsession, for an unspecified amount of time.
I say obsession because hiding the purchase of the ingredients for yet another batch of sugar cookies is more than a craving. Eating all 6 dozen cookies in two days, to myself, and making more cookies to then eat them all again in nearly one sitting, is not a typical relationship with food.
The consequences of overeating my food obsessions range from gaining 50 pounds in six months to simply making myself sick.
My husbands least favorite were my mustard, cheese, & black pepper sandwiches. Cheddar cheese is not cheap and we had a few serious talks about my amount of cheese consumption during the Mustard Sandwich era of 2019. At one point, I was eating four or more mustard sandwiches per day.
But suddenly one day, I’m done.
The spark is gone. The sensation of tingling goodness is gone and all I taste is food. All I taste is flour and butter flavored sugar. It’s no longer a pleasurable sensation. It’s just a cookie. This often happens if the food changes. The demise of the mustard sandwiches occurred when my husband bought “the wrong pepper”. Quickly though, I cling to a new food. A specific chicken taquito from a local gas station is my current obsession.
I also get really into the routine of food, even if I don’t want to eat it. For a while, my weekly drive for my daughters was accompanied by a canned Coke, even if I knew I didn’t want it. I had to have it. Substitutes were not good enough, so bottle or fountain sodas were out. If I didn’t have my canned Coke for my 1 hour drive, I would be highly irritated and very cranky.
I have been on a coffee kick for several years now and I am embarrassed to share the number of fresh pots I make per day...
In my defense though, coffee is much more affordable in comparison to a block of cheese.
Love Always,
Duckie May - The Mad Hatter and The Maker of The Things
P.s. Here is the cookie recipe:
Comments
Post a Comment